Free Association For Free

Writing, as it turns out, is easy if you enjoy doing it. The common conception is that it's only easy if you have some important point to make, or feel strongly driven to express yourself. To me, that's bunk. I don't know of any specific formula for writing, which would simplify the whole process. Thank God none such exists, apparently. Anyone who ever wrote anything (ouside of legal, psychological, medical, or technical writing) would be pigeon-holed into such formulas as this:

INTRODUCTION GOES HERE. BRIEFLY DESCRIBE THE PURPOSE OF THE TOPIC.

MAIN BODY GOES HERE. "FLESH OUT" THE INTRO BY EXPANDING THE THOUGHTS OF THE IDEA. CITE EXAMPLES  AND BE SURE THAT SUCCESSIVE PARAGRAPHS TRANSITION NICELY FROM ONE TO ANOTHER.

SUM UP WITH FINAL, SHORT PARAGRAPH. BRIEFLY REVIEW THE MAIN IDEAS OF THE PRECEDING PARAGRAPHS.

What pap. That's fine if you're trying to endure freshman comp. For the rest of us, such preconceived, industry standard-appearing formulas limit self-expression. (Wow. THAT sounded pretty smart.) Really good authors have unique styles. Imagine Stephen King in freshman comp. He'd have been tossed from class due to an unwillingness to get with the program. I can hear the instructor now: "Interesting topic, but it doesn't fit the assignment." (Where have I heard that before?) Anyone who writes a blog, a book, or even a pamphlet falls into his or her own style -a personal pace.

And that's exactly as it needs to be. My pace looks like this:

INSERT INTRO HERE. INCLUDE TRULY AWFUL ANECDOTE, PREFERABLY NOTING THAT THE ANECDOTE IS SPONSORED BY A CERTAIN SOFT DRINK MANUFACTURER, UNLESS THE BLOG ORGANIZATION FEARS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENTS. THEN SPEND FOUR DAYS TRYING TO GET BACK INTO THE ORGANIZATION'S GOOD GRACES SO YOU CAN RESUME BLOGGING.

WRITE A FEW NICELY-SIZED PARAGRAPHS. BE SURE TO GO OFF ON AT LEAST ONE MAJOR TANGENT. LAUGH IT OFF AS "FREE ASSOCIATION", LEST EVERYONE ASSUME YOU'RE SCHIZOPHRENIC. REMEMBER TO INCLUDE AT LEAST 27 COMMAS PER SENTENCE. ITALICIZE NINE OR MORE WORDS PER PARAGRAPH.

MAKE SURE THE LAST PAPAGRAPH IS SMALLER THAN THE ONES PRECEDING IT AS A SIGNAL TO THE READER THAT IT'S ALMOST TIME TO GO DO SOMETHING ELSE. SUMMATION OF EARLIER PARAS IS OPTIONAL.

ENTER ONE FINAL, FREESTANDING SENTENCE FOR EMPHASIS, AS THOUGH ONE DAY IT WILL APPEAR ON A MONUMENT IN A NATIONAL PARK SOMEWHERE WHERE MULTITUDES WILL GATHER TO READ IT AND MARVEL AT ITS ETERNAL WISDOM.

Writing is fun. I don't take this stuff seriously. Neither should you. As a recovering psychology major, I recall having written God Only Knows how many term papers, research papers, and portions of group presentations. I remember hating having to follow the oh-so-professional APA format and getting gigged, occasionally, by the professor for failing to include a period after citing a reference. It was usually something as catastrophic as "Oswell, V.H. (1999) Covariation of Adolescence And Applesauce. Journal of The National Psychiatric Ad Hoc Committee, 25, 23-224."

Note that there isn't a period following "(1999)".

That's bad.

It means you just lost five points from what would otherwise have been a perfect paper. Psychologists take their punctuation seriously. Too seriously. Tech writing is dry, formulated, and hackneyed. The purpose, of course, is to minimize distractions so the reader can access the important data from the writing. That's fine if you keep in mind that such writing is like driving a work truck. If you've ever been in a work truck like a delivery truck or a cement truck, you know that it's going to be a no-frills ride, and a slow, grinding trip to its destination. The truck isn't built to accelerate quickly or to handle curves well. It simply transports.

In contrast, and in stark contrast at that, blogging is like a sports car: quick, nimble, and fun. If you spin out, you laugh it off and get back on course. For me, spinning out means going off on tangents which are both exploratory and fun. The last time I had that much fun on a term paper, I received a C grade. In retrospect, I think the professor was being kind. Starting off with psychosis as the main topic and ending with schizophrenia as the main topic is a sure way to leave a professor unimpressed with your academic prowess, Lucille. Never do that. "Off the clock" blogging allows you  to have a much broader topic, which not only allows for, but even demands, exploring tangents. (Note to my fellow fogies: tangents are another way of saying meandering. Just thought I'd toss that in here.)

Long live blogging. Long live personal expression outside of coffee mug-stained, office-murmering, artificial light-bothering, cover sheet-irking, take-your-work-home-with-you-oppressing, meeting-attending styles of writing which are designed to make us to feel and appear that we are, indeed, making it.

Go write something. Anything. Take that sports car out for a spin. And if you meander off course, explore the new path you've stumbled onto. In psychology that would be called a "secondary gain".

I hope you'll call it fun.